NaPoWriMo 2014

30 - Light Train

April 30, 2014

Timetables and ticker tape
iphone itineraries
and a standing date

all predicted, promised
proposed
the arrival
of the inevitable train

the steel snake rattling
along slick tracks
a child’s penny fancy
could derail the whole thing
all for a flattened copper
souvenir

Fare hikes
labor strikes
and the misguided
wave of a drunken conductor
its a wonder if the train would ever get here
let alone
on schedule 

Yet at the eleventh hour
on the 30th day
I could see it
as I stood on 
the cloud platform
with my many years 
of baggage
eager for the arrival
bracing for impact

I close my eyes
when the horns howl closer
The warm gush of air
blows me back
against my fears
I steady myself, brace myself
It is time
Right here, right Now
is the moment
I have been waiting for

My eyes flutter open
and look back
at my luminescence.
and I know

I have arrived. 


NaPoWriMo 2014

Sous Vide

April 29, 2014

A sultry night in the city

fills the sidewalks with outside seating
girls in sleeveless tops and maxi dresses
march down the street
a flock of pink pigeons
set free to feed
off our plates

The turn of the century 
walk ups
with their Edwardian charm
and constant disrepair
the only thing that is controlled
in our inflated existence
of 60 hour work weeks
happy hours, weekend binges,
recovery brunches 
is the rent
so we, like the rusted chandelier in the foyer,
have become fixtures here

Leaving windows wide open 
to let the heat escape into the night
with the click clack of heels
the crackle of the electric wires
as busses run by

I guarantee the city
will not sleep tonight
We will lay in a pool of our own shared sweat
sealed in motionless
staring at the ceiling fan shadows
yearning 
for a breath of fresh air

NaPoWriMo 2014

Counterirritants

April 28, 2014

Voices carry me

through the wide open doors
where I set up camp
at The Shop

Easy eaves dropped
on the crammed in tables
percolating conversation 
poured over coffee

I am wedged between
beauty
and revulsion
trying to evade 
being recognized for the spy I am

Beauty wore muscles and a tight t-shirt today
Revulsion is at my side in the reflection  
I avert my gaze
and look instead with my ears 

There was a race
through wilderness and pavement mountains
“I carried my gun”
Beauty said proudly
Revulsion stirred like clotted cream in cold coffee
asking for more sordid details
as one such as that would

Beauty went on
beyond the tales of endurance
of overcoming obstacles so big 
I grew nervous
a tickle trickle of sweat
running between my breasts
my breath catching as I caught myself
leaning in

not because I longed
to curl up in his lap
like I did when I first spied his chiseled jaw and wolf blue eyes
but because his story
unfolded 
foreign and off putting
in that way becoming
irresistible
like a spider the stray must stalk
however poisonous

He makes his goodbyes
with justifications and duty callings

I watch
from the mirror
as beauty leaves
behind revulsion
smiling back at me

NaPoWriMo 2014

Hindsight

April 27, 2014





It is easy to say
as I strolled along the cobbled ways
looking for owls and cats on rooftops
That things could have been different
That I should have known
Five years later I would be 
back where I began
with the sysiphean determination
to start again
and again not find the satisfaction
of a desired end

That happened long before
we wandered the narrow alleys of Vieux Nice
explored the metro labyrinth of Paris
We weathered nerve wracking turbulence
The rattle and crack of fuselage against rough air 

But like our last flight together that cold fog filled day
We should have called it off
Taken another approach
No matter how terrifying it is to pull up
out a six year relationship

Then it may have been
A smooth landing
back into my own life



NaPoWriMo 2014

Morass

April 26, 2014

My thighs flatten
on the seemingly hard surface
I am collapsing bit by bit 
into the heap
in a last ditch
effort to find
my backbone
I try to levitate 
to rise
out of the days quicksand

For a fragile moment
my spastic thrashing
opens a sliver of space 
leaving a precious first impression
of my own weightlessness

Until I am sucked back down
a hundred unborn hands
griping my ankles
my painted toes pointing
the way 

I am what is left 
of the struggling stain 
my mortal remains
sitting alone in my bathrobe
Naked and trying to stay afloat. 

NaPoWriMo 2014

Red Ink

April 25, 2014

These pages
like myself

broken in by a mistake
no matter how artful or judicious
one tries to correct
to cover up
it will be known

Weave many threads together
to explain
that unfortunate gap in judgment
Or maybe line by line
pull the thread apart
and reveal the raw torn moment
for what it was.

Let it bleed 
all over the sheets
glorious evidence of what was
blank before

Celebrate it
Hang it out the windows with the chinatown laundry
for all to see
This was the first
truth

then after wild revelry
and drunken dance
gather the clothing - honor, respect, worth, love
and put it on.
Bridal white with a wide scarlet sash
and stiletto heels
Tell as many stores
with as many outcomes as you desire

Yes, Words will bounce back
Off gaping wide mouthed walls

Yet at the source
the echo
is breathed in
and exhaled again
as knowing



NaPoWriMo 2014

Retaining Life

April 24, 2014


The writing is on it

But not everyone can read it
even if you insist, loudly with haughty derision

It was built
high and crooked
with each trust betrayed
the promise to come back, to be there
to keep you safe
forgotten
sliding another brick
in line against the last
the moratorium childhood sealed

We scale them, climb them
build them 
around 
surround us
surrogate parents
force fields against the memories
the mealless nights and the prayer meetings
the back room closet and the chair
the worst words we are not going home

Now how I long 
for you
to push me hard
up against it
past my limits
my boundaries tossed aside like damp lace
The music playing

Since my friend you have revealed your deepest fear
I sentence you to be exposed before your peers

Tear down the wall





NaPoWriMo 2014

Shit I Say/Shitai

April 23, 2014

Cooking Woks and Shine

Coy she keels
why bite? That mash 
Am I doing a bad
Moon and shiek  Car or No?
Nah neither you nor core at all


Kokin WakashÅ« 571 Love 2
Koishiki ni
wabite tamashii
madoinaba
munashiki kara no
na ni ya nokoramu

Translation:
If in despair of love
my soul should wander,
am I to be remembered
as one who left
(a corpse) in vain?
-Anonymous


Using today’s prompt: the homophonic translation. Using a poem in a language you don’t know translate it into English based on the look of the words and their sounds.

NaPoWriMo 2014

Life of Intrigue

April 22, 2014

It all begins with...

A good morning for a spot of writing
has some basic requirements
a spot of sun
a swish of tale 
in the tea 
a stretching sprawl across the pages
where there will be drool
and beans spilled
in the morning journal

A good evening for bit of dance
has some basic essentials
well waxed wood
spinning ankles and pointed toes
Fur flying frolic
until the dramatic
final flop to the floor

A good night for sleep
has some kneedfuls
chicken treats
cheetah charges
opera hall rehearsals
and her restful recline
in the soft warm down

a purrfect day... 

NaPoWriMo 2014

Wine Silences

April 21, 2014

Wine silences
The critic
And amplifies the dreamer's
Pensive voice

Until the witching hour

Then the critic tireless
Raves
Rants 
Echoing down the hall
Driving you
To give up
comfort to scold
Then plead
For peace

Only then does the dreamer
Dream
And reluctantly
In daylight

waken

NaPoWriMo 2014

Riparian Gift

April 20, 2014

It is time

I head the call 
of brackish water
and fading blue silvery scale memories and grand adventures

I am pulled pole to pole 
heart strings plucked 
towards the crescendo, the big bang we all know.

I leap and fly over falls
missing curled claws and hooks
to find the turbulent shallow clearing
and lay my intentions down

My energy is waning moment by moment
leaching out with all I am worth
my salt
and the bright glow 
only once seen in a grand haul above rapids and rock
washes over my eyes
one final smile and then black
nothing

my salt streams her cheeks
as she thanks me for the life
I have given
with that
my seeds are now 
planted further than
the natal estuary
she continues the swim towards a new sea

NaPoWriMo 2014

Jinx

April 19, 2014

Too bad for the reputation
for you have a such a lovely sound

Popped cherry corks 
Long stemmed crystal toasts
the hard 
surrendering 
sigh

Filled full with all the promises
and mirror shadows
of untold curses 

but what if that 
is just a rumor
a wicked lie
spit and spread 
on the rank locker room walls

the sooth speaks
of an unequal bittersweet
whisper
laying claim
to what was 
already said  

NaPoWriMo 2014

Cork Taint

April 18, 2014

I miss you

when the wine 
sinks in
to my hollows
and swishes around
the sighing distance
between when
we were one
and then not

The longing leaves
rooted truffles
cellar corners
and sodden newspaper
in my mouth

But I don’t swallow
Knowing it had gone bad

Instead I pour
the black mold flecked regret
down the drain 

NaPoWriMo 2014

Fish from the Sky

April 17, 2014

I can only hope
that when the trout
are dropped
from hundreds of feet
above water

That they are not 
afraid

That their fall
feels like flying

and the impact
feels like coming home. 

NaPoWriMo 2014

My Sophistry

April 16, 2014

I was conceived in the backseat of a white truck during a late summer thunderstorm


My mother trembling in her soaked sundress deathly afraid of lightening that cracked from sky to earth

Had locked herself out of the house and had taken shelter under the willow tree

He smiled when he saw her jumping and squealing with every growl of thunder, every forked tongue strike

Get in, he said reaching over to unlock the truck door.  She pulled her dress high on her smooth legs stepping up the on the slick running board.

She looked at the metal crates stacked on the bench seat then she looked at him, all sinewy and golden with a sideways smile

He watched her climb over to the back, her dripping wet dress plastered to her slick olive skin

We should wait out the storm he said crawling over crates and thunder rattled bottles

My mother always said I got my sea-blue eyes from the milkman...



NaPoWriMo 2014

Exemption

April 15, 2014

There was a murder on union street

I am the one who finds him
Left behind
On the cold sidewalk

Motionless shadow
His black blending into the darkness
Only the sheen of cheek
Gives him away

Did anyone watch
from the wire
the half closed windows
in this sanitary section of town

Yet remain
Unseen
By Those stumbling through
The 2 am hour

I stare down at him
the disheveled heap
sprawled at my feet
An untouchable 
A crushed velvet disgrace
His cracked blue-black mouth 
A howl locked in rigor
The harsh secret 
Echoes in the morning after

I must lay him down
in the garden
a potter’s field
locked between church walls
and choir verses

only then will
your Dead silence
bring me restful sleep


NaPoWriMo 2014

What If Walk

April 14, 2014

What if she didn’t leave?
What if she insisted they try something else?
What if they found it?
What if he lived?

What if I kept dancing and went to private school?

What if I never knew the dark corner of the abandoned shed? 
What if I was never asked?
Do I want to touch it?

What if I waited because I wanted to?
What if I studied and applied to ivy league schools?
What if I studied abroad?

What if I kept walking past the glass doors?
What if I left before the worst of it?
What if I did not take you back when you showed up at my door looking pathetic?
What if I didn’t run away fast enough after your fist slammed into my unexpecting belly?

What if I gathered my beloveds and my belongings?
What if I moved to Paris?

What if I didn’t have a miscarriage that Thanksgiving?

What if I trusted my instincts?
What if I told my secrets?
What if I keep my promises?

The only thing I can do is take one step forward each day through the tangled barbed wire weeds of wondering and know no matter what I am worth the walk 

NaPoWriMo 2014

Mary

April 13, 2014

I never knew you
as that, only Gram
Who lived on the other side
of the house 
with sprawling double verandas
as if Dorothy's tornado travels
had brought a souvenir
from the deep south
to a dead end street
named after a joke

I see you 
in long flowered 
housecoats tending 
long flower beds
summer afternoons

I see you
sitting in Your chair
at the kitchen table
drinking tea
while we watched your tv
as you most perfectly
would deliver the set up
to our teenaged punch line
     what was he on to pick a name like that
     would you sit that way if a man was in the room

I hear you
hush and scold
with furrowed brows over your watery hazel eyes
as our laughter
echoed too loudly
through the pewter pot

I remember
Your Talking to Moses
Your teetering hiccup-like laugh
Your exasperated “Cappy…”
The separate beds but tales sneaking from one bedroom to the other
The coloring of Easter eggs using onion skins
The iridescent peach and rose Carnival glass 

I never knew you
or what you went through
after I left
The losses you had
of loves and health
and later mind
I only saw pictures of a woman
Once fleshful
dissolve into
the tepid tea of old age

I know despite it all
you were loved
and that is all there is
now left to say


Mary Magill
June 12, 1919 - April 13, 2014





NaPoWriMo 2014

Around Again

April 12, 2014


We walk in circles
finding it
curious

To return to something
after years
and best intentions
slip by

to see how its changed
how you have changed
and yet remain
the same

Centuries pass

The first 
was filled with cold rain
steep climbs 
towards distant goals
pride was born here

the second 
was filled with friendship
strained and stretched
beyond one's comfort
Finding footing 
on the rocky shore
a start but not a finish

the third
was filled with hope
turned familiar fantasy
rolled back 
the shock snap
Releasing regrets

the fourth 
was filled with heartache
loneliness and longing
Seeking distraction
in the newfound
heat

the next
will be
different

that's what we tell ourselves
as the days roll into years 
the wheels keep spinning
until there is nowhere
left to go


NaPoWriMo 2014

The Mentor

April 11, 2014

He will never know
the honor
I have bestowed upon him

Never before 
offered
or even acknowledged
as a remote possibility

I've held out
I hold in
my trembling palm
the key
to unlock
the solutions to my problems

my cloister
my keep
all along
locked from inside

For lifetimes
my screams
fell on helpless
ears
unable to unlock the door

He steadies my hand
as I reach forward
and set myself free 

NaPoWriMo 2014

Play it Again

April 10, 2014

Is this all a Fantasy
the hours spent in a cube
trying to chew a way out 
Cram packed in corrugated cardboard roles
sucking recycled breath for air
sick of life

Sideways glances and hush tones 
as I am called into the windowless room
her sour slurred words
kick start my heart
into beating on its own again

it has not done that since 
that late afternoon 
in the back stairwell
when i raised my skirt 
as you bent down before me

I hear their whispers
echo as I am escorted out 

promiscuous

My thighs are still slick 
as I walk off the edge
ecstatic
as at last I am
sexy and I know it


*NaPoWriMo prompt to use the 5 songs from a playlist at random 

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